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Pulela in the inquirer

Sweet Spot

A nice song for the apple of my eyes
The look that lingers til my toes fall asleep
Your bald head leaning on my shoulder
I hold your hands as your skin kisses me
Endless thoughts that talk like there's no tomorrow
A vision in a bubble where we stay...

I start in bed as the passion rise
You hold me tight with a little smile
I feel those arms loving my waist
I breathe those lips that sweep my face
I will caress you til the morning comes
You touched my sleep before it's done

I have yearned long for this little dream
Captivated at how it seemed
You put little berries in my brain
Your sweet antedote to all my pain
You know I'm yours while time is fair
This is our moment written on air...

You've probably seen me cry
When you lied and laughed at it
I just cried..

When I looked the way I feel,
you know that I was crying..
For only this pain comforted me

You among everybody
Me with you
Me among all of them
...nothing.


I reached out but failed
Yet I still felt for you
I thought of you...

I'm the only one who cried.

Snarl

maybe now i know what you can't do to me. i've snarled myself to believing that one day you would love me. i know now that i am a fool for believing that in my mind you have me. you had it blocked from the very start. I can never push through, never penetrate for what i can offer is time. in my mind i have you when in reality you have no one but her.This is my curse. Loving when i can't be loved. Living a life of sacrifice for deception. I pretend I am spontaneous. I thought i can take a flight to confusion. Nothing left than a heartache, a train wreck and you will never force yourself to care. Never will you be there the way i want you for you are her's not mine.

I am a princess..
Jailing myself in my own field of sanity
I placed a crown of shit in my head
Eating every single word I've said
The same desire I've had in my heart
Has lead me astray to begin from the start

I am a little queen of pain
Drinking every adventure of a life insane
I cross every path in this jungle
To be eaten by the beast of my own existence
Forgetting what I planned I get beaten..
I get drowned I am nowhere else to be found
Than this dark pit..

A deceived life to explore
I know I'm down to nothing more
My pained heart kept crying
In rhythmic sobs that only I can hear
Allowing the royalty around me to inflict
Such hurt liberally so quick

In a span of a heartache
I am lost once more
I run this path towards an empty door
No promises…
Just deceptions…

I am crowned in shit and I just cried
A little princess out of her mind
I cried til the pain grew stronger
And this dying heart grow weaker
I just cried…
I left no secrets to hide...

“A tale of broken bars and a piece of Cake”

“The recipe of life comes with occasional doses of alcohol and boosts of sugar but as to when we decide to have it, depends on us.”

Some days ago this girl trying to live the corporate highlife started having attacks of subdued loneliness to which she tried to remedy by working more…Big Mistake! At the end of the day, driving along a student colonized streak, she came across some broken bar where an obscure jazz band played their blues. In the tune of a brass rendered “Cuando, cuando”, this girl nursed her first can of German Oettinger beer by the bar swaying in subtle head movements while closing her eyes in reverie. Somewhere in the middle of gulping her second can and noticing the cute vocalist, she officially declared herself "depressed". Too lazy to figure out whether her malady is hormonal or stress-related, she somehow tried to embrace the perennial feeling. There it goes…how many times in your life do you find comfort in depression and treat it as an adventure? Could it be possible that she’s just plain tired of the familiarity that life brings? Again, she’s way too lazy to even analyze it. When the vocalist tried to walk her up for what appeared to her as a desperate small talk (given that the place is populated by measly three people), she knew in her heart how much she just wants to be alone, just her and her unfamiliar feeling in a seemingly familiar world. Not all the time does she decide to drink by herself or let alone get drunk but speaking in slurs with a handsome gentleman on her work clothes and evident frown isn’t her idea of magic. However, in the spirit of politeness she answered his questions in the most detailed and generous way possible. For some reason, she just can’t believe how Mr. Brass Cutie managed to stay two hours talking with Ms. Corporate Junkie who has a big banner written in her forehead that says: "You’re cute definitely but I wanna be alone”Maybe he can just use some chat while waiting for his band mate’s pack-up their colossal cellos and trumpets. Her mind kept traveling to the streets of Cuba where she wanted to dance salsa with Latinos however at that moment all she has is a broken bar, her can of Oettinger(which at that time she needs to save for the road) and a forthcoming memory of talking with a jazz derrière. She called it a night. He called it closing time.

So the night ends and dawn is nearing, in a couple of hours she would need to wake up to continue her journey to depression. Does she even want a cure? Oh yes! Depression can only be embraced for so long. She decides to wake up and with the lack of words to describe it, be happy. Oh yeah, it’s a weekday and another workday. Finishing her morning tasks after a hearty breakfast, she remembers how she’s wanted to try a certain piece of pie in a cozy coffee joint she’s noticed on her way to work. So it goes…she orders the shop’s specialty pie with a dose of cold caffeine rush and voila! Happiness in a piece of cake! Endorphins with the slight regret of not making the most out of a possible encuentro with Mr. Brass cutie fell all over her. It would’ve been great if she had that pie last night but cliché as it may sound, indeed everything happens for a reason. While staring in straight contemplation a message appeared on her phone that says: “It was that deep thought you had in your eyes last night that made me write a song this morning. It’s Darren by the way and I was singing to you on your sullen mood in that bar”.

What is your piece of pie? Happiness is so simple and free but loneliness is often necessary. The recipe of life comes with occasional doses of alcohol and boosts of sugar but as to when we decide to have it, depends on us. Another learning from her experience is that life in parts is about embracing every feeling that keeps your heart away from the curse of familiarity. It’s the different hormonal rushes in your vein, the dramatic encounters with life’s paradoxes, the “would be’s” than the “could’ve beens”, the weather change, kaleidoscopic people and the varied substances that caress your taste buds every now and then that the heavens send us in droplets to keep us alive. Never miss out on every lesson and reason that goes along with it. Don’t be scared of that broken bar as you could be assured that sugary sweet pies are everywhere for your helping and when you get it, don’t forget to indulge!"

Prose to you

I watched as the feathered smoke formed thoughts conveyed through your eyes. I lay in cosmic drain figuring out how life can change one heartbreak at a time….

I think in prose..

Soon everything will be gone flying in clouds like some oblique spiral stairwell of everything that transpired. All these have gone from its claimed significance to some measly memoir that wallowed us one thought at a time. You looked at me as I stared in space crossed blightly in bed. We went to change our steaming directions to different paths derived from one night of cautious fantasy. Only a bleak moment remains before we let go. I know from this paralleled sorrow that it will be hard to look back. I can go on cursing every beautiful thing hat we shared, fold the puzzles and pieces together to come up with the strangest purpose. Right now I just want to lie in eternity at a close distance from where we came from.

I’d liberally take you back but won’t.

Foolish song

I’d like to unlearn you
Tomorrow is another day
And yet you still inspire me
I want to forget you
But you’ve pissed right down my brain
And I can’t unwant you

I trace the tracks of you in my memory
And I seem to want some more of you
You’re what I wanna learn
You’re all I need to burn
I’m stupid to even yearn

Oh how hours past just thinking
This crazy game I’m playing
Unguessing all your flaws
When I’m pretty much in awe
..of you
..damn of you

I can’t unlearn you
Somebody fry my mind please
Every little thing in you
Such a habit I’m used to
We were never through
We were never through