"The Nostalgia that is Los Banos"

I am not a big fan of UPLB but going back there yesterday gave me a certain kind of NOSTALGIA (oh how I love saying that!!) likened probably to that fondness a grown up kid has to what used to be her favorite toy. I remember vividly how I can’t wait to get out of that place shortly before graduation primarily because of some chunks of bitter memories. However, looking at it in retrospect, those chunks of bitter memories only boil down to ONE LARGE CHUNK which happens to be the break-up I had with a boyfriend who also happens to be the last boyfriend I had (as yet). From hindsight, UPLB was a haven in disguise.

How did I get there? Well, some old friends got me to star on their upcoming music video which they decided to shoot there (readers watch out for the next BIG thing!). These people are those whom I consider to be one of the many people who happens to have a SPECIAL KIND OF CONNECTION with UPLB. They even wrote a song about it! Any way, nothing against this people (I would not like to fight with a fleet) but apart from my “not being a fan”, going back there after a long time made me appreciate the place, FINALLY! I even think that maybe, JUST MAYBE I’m beginning to become one of UPLB’s “Closet fans”.

Sort of like forgiving somebody whom you once loved but has hurt you badly, what happened to me there was probably forgiveness at work.

Coincidentally, I also saw somebody from the past whom I realized I have actually forgiven. I met up with my ex boyfriend who also joined the shoot. I was’nt expecting to see him but I guess its pretty inevitable for a throng of video crew carrying cameras and singing around to bump off with a LB locale. Even the police did not spare us. We also had our fair share of unwanted attention from them. All in all, the video shoot went good. A solid whole day of running around the famous spots in Los Banos plus a “video –perfect” bonfire to end the night with summed up my nostalgic getaway.

Perhaps, I really have forgiven a lot. I realized that forgiveness never was a choice. It’s a favor you owe yourself and your past. What used to be big before your eyes may soon seem small after a long time simply because you’ve grown enough to hold these things in your hands and appreciate its beauty in all its totality. Its not big enough anymore to swallow you but has reduced its size enough to fit your palm so you can keep them in your pocket. FORGIVENESS is allowing these big things to become small letting go of the intricate details and looking at its beauty in retrospect.